Sooo…because I have been away for a while I wanted to make a quick update:
I AM FINE NOW
And I am happier than I have ever been. I have been depressed for so long, even though I am still so young.
I think I will never entirely love myself, but that’s better than hating yourself.
Everything is better than hating and hurting yourself. Want to die. Hate to see your reflection in the mirror every day.
I am getting psychological help now and try to get out of my depression.
Right now it seems like I will never get out of that feeling of emptiness and that social pressure, Yeah, I am really afraid that I won’t succeed
I love you and I will never forgive me for saying these things to you, I didn’t meant to… I should have been there for you and stayed at your bed, even in the rough times. Best Friends should do that for each other. I just couldn’t get it, why you had to be this ill… You were and are my better half, and I know you are out there somewhere, but it is like someone ripped my heart out of my chest. There is a hole where my heart should be and Catrissa, I can’t forget about that day… a year has already passed, but I can’t realize it. I can barely breathe without you. I cried so much that week. I lost 20 kg. I am so sick and I just want the pain to stop. I will ever love you and I hope you forgive me. Rest in Peace … you were everything I had … Catrissa P. 5.10.2014… up there with god
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